It doesn’t happen overnight. It creeps up slowly and then at your weakest moment it grabs a hold of you and rips your breath out of your lungs leaving you empty. 
The monster enjoys watching me struggle. I’m sleep deprived. My mind is foggy and I struggle to put my thoughts into words. I try to explain how I feel but I can’t make sense of it. How can I expect others to understand when I don’t understand it myself?
The monster leaves me feeling alone and isolated. It blocks reality and my perception becomes one of abandon. I’m standing in the middle of the road naked during a thunderstorm with nothing to protect me. No one knows that I’m breaking again. I hide behind my strength so well that even my best friend doesn’t see behind this mask. 
My raw soul bleeds once more as I fight to run away from the monster within. I call it by name but by the time I become aware of its presence, it’s too late to hide. It’s back and it hits me full force. Yet by now I know all too well that the only way to get it to leave is to feel it.
Hello grief. We meet again…