July 25, 2014

I lay here as I contemplate… Does it really matter what took my daughter from me? Knowing what happened won’t bring her back. I’m starting to think I would rather not know. How can all signs point towards this being her fate?

I saw a psychic who told me she never tells anyone this but it was Bella’s fate, she was meant to die. Brian (the medium) said that Bella already had a close call and she could have left us then. Bella was almost in a car accident and there is no way she would have survived. I thought she escaped death that day.

Brian also said this was Bella’s fate and had this incident that took her not have happened, there would have been another in a month or two. I also had another medium contact me with a message from Bella telling me that her contract on this earth was short and she chose me to be her mother because I’m an evolved soul and could handle her departure.

Then there was the voice I heard as I was on the floor performing CPR on my baby girl, the voice that told me that “it’s ok, it’s meant to be this way.” But how can it be a toddler’s fate to leave this world so soon?

I know this much: there is more to life than humans are able to comprehend, there are reasons why we choose to live, and life doesn’t end once our physical body dies. Death of the body is not death of the soul because they are separate. We are made of energy and energy doesn’t die. So where do we go when our body dies? Bella is still here with me and hasn’t left my side. She’s in another dimension so I can’t see her, but I can feel her constantly.

Brian said she’s very affectionate and is constantly giving me hugs and kisses, and I honestly feel them. They feel warm and tingly, and make me feel complete happiness and bring me comfort. I am torn between having a deeper understanding of life and death and wanting to grieve the loss of my baby girl.

“Understand that your soul is not bound by three-dimentional earthly existence.” – Unknown

#StayStrong