July 5, 2014

I don’t think I will ever wake up feeling the same again. Every morning will be the same… Wishing it’s all just a bad dream. It’s one week today. I went out Friday night for the first time in months. Hudson and Bella stayed with my parents. Bella had a rough night and was up til 3am so mom let her sleep in. I will never forget seeing her run down the stairs with my limp baby girl in her arms. She had bloody foam on her face and wasn’t breathing. I put her on the floor and started CPR and told mom to call 911. It’s incredible how calm and focused you can be when you need to be. When first response arrived, I fell apart. I knew she was gone. She was fine the night before. It makes no sense. Today my heart hurts and it’s a pain that I can’t explain, but while all this was happening all I kept saying to myself was that it’s meant to me be this way. She was meant to go. She was saved a month ago when her daddy was in a terrible car crash and she was supposed to be in that car. When it’s your time, it’s your time and this was meant to be. I appreciate the time we had and now it’s time to share her with the world and fulfill her purpose. This will help me #StayStrong

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